So this is where I am these days. FIRE! I know you have all seen the coverage; they are even reporting the California fires in Australia - it is truly Global News!

Many have asked and inquired as to my safety and how close I am to this fiasco of arsonist delight. I am really, REALLY, close to the blaze that is now being called the Santiago Canyon Fire or the Santiago Blaze. I can see the fire from my back porch, as I drive home; I can smell it everywhere I go. I can hear the choppers over head at night and in the morning, brining in the water and fire retardant in order to quell the flames. The fire has consumed a series of canyons that hold a special piece of my heart as I have always wanted to live there and have spent a lot of time there as well.

Yes, yes, the ring of fire burns bright into the night and the winds have swept the smoke into my everyday existence. People walk around with paper masks in order to prevent the inhalation of the stuff. Ash rains down onto cars and reminds us how close we are. Smoke plumes rise high in the not so distant horizon as looming signs of impending doom. The Sun is colored odd, the Moon glows red and black and red again like a pre-menstrual emerald dining on shiraz. My house smells like a campfire; my eyes burn.

The firefighters in Orange County are using Vietnam-Era helicopters to do water drops and the ensuing debate between Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger and Republican State Senator Todd Spitzer has escalated in regards to resources and reaction time. Bush will come in tomorrow and the brouhaha of comparing this to the FEMA debacle of Katrina has already ensued due to press conference questions from Geraldo Rivera. All said and done, we need, NEED, to pay our firefighters a bigger homage and set of applause - go down and talk to your firefighters even if you do not live in a fire prone zone. The firehouse is where we find pride in our community and are reminded of a work ethic!

The area that is burning is comprised of numerous canyons that I have written about extensively during the September months of 2006 on ‘young, broke, and republican’ - all while doing my chain gang time. The areas are Modjeska Canyon, BlackStar Canyon, Williams Canyon, and Silverado Canyon. I debated moving to Modjeska when I found my condo to be up for sale a couple of months ago. Makes me think that it is easier to be a rock star than to live like one in a secluded Southern California area.

I thought long and hard about it all and watched the news and received the e-mails and phone calls from around the world asking if I was ok. It got me all feather-ruffled and worked up. It actually made me randy. I am working so much lately that unless I can see it from my work or porch, than I am not down with it as sleep (or lack there of)does not permit it. Car troubles have also plagued me so the ash has only been a secondary concern. The evidence is everywhere but I have not watched the licking flames first hand. So my response has been to light my fire and get to work.

This leads me to calling the police on the little bastard who lives next door today. Many schools have been cancelled and this little retard has been raising hell all through the neighborhood all day. I went out to have a smoke before some pre-dinner errands and the little Son of a Bitch was lighting fireworks off with his buddy on the hill right beneath my back porch! Keep in mind that my backyard is full of dry brush, sun-baked mulch and dried out trees! He was actually disappointed that some of his works were ‘duds’ as he flicked his lighter around, with no parents home and a plethora of trouble on his day’s buffet. I wasn’t here when the cops showed but I did hum this song while I did errands:

All of these songs bring me to a reminiscence of being in fourth and fifth grade and then a bit beyond then. In elementary school we had a special needs child named David who schooled with us and his favourite thing to do was to sing Bruce Springsteen. Shortly after that, my mother became emotionally involved with a woman almost half her age named Nancy who looked like Bruce Springsteen and many a day of smoke and fire ensued. Special needs, new chapters, my aversion to under-bites and men from New Jersey; all wrapped up in ribbons and glitter:

I am not on fire or ablaze; I am smoky and hot as hell.

Sometimes the Devil just parlays through the pantry and does not stop for a drink. This is when the horned bastard needs a rain coat and a vacation.

The dumb horned son of a bitch might be inclined next time as I get a 20% off discount at my new job and they sell Moxie.

Screw the flames licking my world; buy the Devil a drink and he might go away.

Let the beast run through and bad songs and smoke inhalation ensue!

Be good and smile.

Godspeed …

FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Come get the 250,000 if you know who did it… KFI is putting up 100,000 of it!

I listen, so should you …